Bush Claims Approval Rating At All Time High; His Wife Told Him

Why is President Bush unconcerned about his approval rating, which has now sunk to 33%?

Hes certain its at an all-time high. How does he know? He asked his ever-faithful wife.

For instance, here is the transcript of a discussion with the reliable spouse that was leaked to the press by their ever-attentive dog.

Laura, Im feeling a little down today.

Why, George?

I guess the mood just goes with how Im feeling about my approval rating.

What approval rating?

You know, the one thats not as high as it used to be. I try not to care, but

Poor Georgy-Porgy, I cant bear to see you feel so low.

Then, please, cheer me up.

Did you say up?

Yes, dear. Whisper in my ear once again those sweet words only you know how.

Of course, dear.

Then tell me, how is my approval rating?

It couldnt be higher.

Really? Tell me more.

Its so high I cant tell you.

Really? How do you know?

Because I approve of you.

Thank you, Laura. I needed to hear that. But do you just approve of me? Or do you approve of me more than you ever did?

How could you doubt me? Of course, I approve of you more than ever.

Wow, what a high. Im feeling better already. Still, sometimes I cant help thinking that things over in Baghdaddy arent going as well as Id like.

I know, dear. But how can you be blamed for whats going on way over there. How were you to know those idiotic Iraqis would decide to destroy their own country? All you wanted to do is free them from that awful dictator your dad decided not to free them from when he was at the doorway to Saddams palaces.

No way I could ever have guessed what kind of stew I was jumping into. And to think: all I wanted to do is implement freedom, democracy, and other more or less Western values.

You only had intentions that should score high in the polls.

Youre right, Laura. And intentions are what count. To heck with results. Theyre a darn nuisance. Im feeling better already.

Im so glad, sweetheart.

So tell me, Laura, just to make me feel 100%. Is my rating with you at an all-time high?

Yes, George, it is. And just to prove it, look. She held up her hand as high as she could, pointed to it, and said, Hi.

That high?

Even hier. Then she stood up on her toes and, reaching till her arm hurt, said, Hi, hi, hi-er still!

Thanks, Laura. That looks like higher than ever to me.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."Food House Location Waffle
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